I have a friend who is a huge fan of the movie The Addams Family. Have you seen it?
The Addams Family isn’t your typical household—they’re creepy, kooky, and full of jokes darker than their attic.
This family doesn’t tell ordinary jokes; they craft sharp puns that could’ve come straight from Morticia’s wit. And let’s be honest—typical humor is overrated anyway.
I have gathered the spookiest, funniest, and most twisted puns inspired by Gomez’s charm, Fester’s zaps, and Lurch’s groans.
If you have someone who loves that film, then be my guest and use these hilarious Addams Family puns and jokes which are dead-icated to making you grin like a graveyard ghoul.
Have you ever laughed so hard it felt like Thing was tickling your ribs?
Well, get ready. These Addams Family puns are so dark they’d make even Wednesday crack a smile. Maybe.
- Why did Gomez and Morticia never fight? Because their love was killer strong.
- What’s Fester’s favorite type of music? Shock rock.
- Why did Wednesday bring a ladder to school? To reach new lows.
- What’s Pugsley’s favorite snack? Boo-berries.
- How does Lurch answer the phone? “You rang?” (Okay, that’s not a pun, but it’s too iconic to skip.)
- Why did Cousin Itt get a haircut? Too many split ends.
- What’s Morticia’s favorite exercise? Tomb-a.
- Why did Gomez invest in graveyards? He heard the dead were dying to get in.
- What’s Wednesday’s least favorite day? Sun-day.
- Why did Fester fail his cooking class? He kept electrifying the soufflé.
- What do you call Addams Family gossip? Grave whispers.
- Why did Pugsley bring a shovel to the party? To dig the vibe.
- What’s Lurch’s favorite dance move? The stiff shuffle.
- Why did Morticia grow black roses? Because normal ones were too lively.
- What’s Gomez’s favorite board game? DEAD-opoly.
- Why did Wednesday refuse to smile? She didn’t want to crack.
- What’s Fester’s favorite drink? Battery acid. (Just kidding. Maybe.)
- Why did the Addams Family adopt a vulture? They needed a pet with killer instincts.
- What’s Cousin Itt’s favorite song? “Hair” by the Cowsills.
- Why did Morticia knit a sweater out of spider silk? She wanted something web-worthy.
- What’s Pugsley’s favorite subject? Detention.
- Why did Gomez keep a sword? For sharp conversations.
- What’s Wednesday’s idea of a joke? Your happiness.
- Why did Fester get kicked out of the library? He kept overdue… by 100 years.
- What’s Lurch’s favorite fast food? Grave-y fries.
Whew. That’s enough to make even the gloomiest day a little brighter. Or darker. Depends on how you see it.
Spooky Addams Family Puns One-Liners to Die Laughing
Do you know what’s scarier than Uncle Fester’s lightbulb trick?
How hard you’re about to laugh at these one-liners. The Addams Family doesn’t do “dad jokes”—they do dead jokes.
- What’s Gomez’s favorite type of investment? Cemetery plots—they’re always going up.
- Why did Wednesday refuse to play hide and seek? Because nobody seeks her.
- What’s Morticia’s favorite wine? Grave-undy.
- Why did Pugsley get kicked out of science class? He kept blowing up the experiments.
- What’s Lurch’s favorite band? The Rolling Bones.
- Why did Fester get a job at the power plant? He was shockingly qualified.
- What’s Thing’s favorite game? Tag—but he always loses his hand.
- Why did Cousin Itt get a speeding ticket? Hair today, gone tomorrow.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite type of math? Subtraction—because it takes away happiness.
- Why did Morticia and Gomez name their boat The Black Widow? Because it sinks marriages. (Just kidding—they’re perfect.)
- What’s Pugsley’s favorite candy? Warheads. (Obviously.)
- Why did Lurch start a band? He had dead-i-cation.
- What’s Fester’s favorite holiday? Halloween—the only time he blends in.
- Why did Wednesday’s plant die? She overwatered it… with tears.
- What’s Gomez’s favorite exercise? Fencing—with actual swords.
- Why did Morticia refuse to wear color? She wasn’t dyed to impress.
- What’s Thing’s least favorite chore? Handing out candy on Halloween.
- Why did Cousin Itt get a haircut? Too much split personality.
- What’s Pugsley’s favorite movie? The Exploding Dead.
- Why did Fester get banned from the pet store? He kept electrocuting the goldfish.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite social media? Grave-book.
- Why did Lurch start cooking? He wanted to stir up trouble.
- What’s Morticia’s favorite flower? Black-eyed Susans.
- Why did Gomez build a coffin-shaped pool? For deep diving.
- What’s Thing’s favorite sport? Finger boxing.
- Why did Wednesday’s diary have a lock? To keep out joy.
- What’s Fester’s favorite candy? Shockers.
- Why did Pugsley bring a grenade to show-and-tell? For explosive feedback.
- What’s Lurch’s favorite song? “Another One Bites the Dust.”
- Why did the Addams Family adopt a hyena? They needed someone to laugh at death with.
If you didn’t chuckle at least once, you might be an Addams.
Kooky Addams Family Sayings for Kids & Grown-Ups
You don’t need to be dead to enjoy these jokes – just undead at heart!
Whether you’re a tiny terror or a seasoned spook, these Addams Family zingers will have the whole crypt laughing.
- What do you call an Addams Family picnic? A grave dining experience.
- Why did Wednesday bring a knife to school? For sharpening her pencils… and her wit.
- What’s Gomez’s favorite dance? The Crypt-walk.
- How does Morticia keep her plants alive? She stakes them.
- Why did Pugsley fail his spelling test? He kept writing R.I.P. instead of “rest.”
- What’s Fester’s favorite TV show? *Breaking Bad… literally.
- Why did Lurch become a chef? He wanted to serve killer meals.
- What’s Thing’s favorite game show? *Let’s Make a Deal… with the devil.
- Why did Cousin Itt get a job at the salon? For the tips.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite book? How to Lose Friends and Influence People.
- Why did Morticia paint her nails black? So her hands would match her soul.
- What’s Gomez’s favorite car? A Hearse-day.
- Why did Pugsley bring a turtle to school? He wanted a slow and painful show-and-tell.
- What’s Fester’s favorite candy bar? Shockoate.
- Why did Lurch start a band? He had grave musical talent.
- What’s Thing’s favorite sport? Hide-and-go-shriek.
- Why did Wednesday’s goldfish die? It drowned.
- What’s Morticia’s favorite tea? *Early Grey… because it’s already dead.
- Why did Gomez install a trapdoor in the living room? For sudden goodbyes.
- What’s Pugsley’s favorite school subject? Dismember-y.
- Why did Fester get kicked out of the library? He kept checking out… permanently.
- What’s Lurch’s favorite exercise? Coffin crunches.
- Why did Cousin Itt get a haircut? He was shedding his personality.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite ice cream? *Rocky Roadkill.
- Why did Morticia plant poison ivy? She wanted something touchy.
- What’s Gomez’s favorite card game? *Old Maid… because he married her.
- Why did Pugsley bring a chainsaw to the playground? For cutting remarks.
- What’s Fester’s favorite drink? Bleach-er’s delight. (Don’t try this at home!)
- Why did Lurch become a gardener? He had a green thumb… and the rest of him was pale.
- What’s Thing’s favorite movie? The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
Whether you’re 6 or 666, these jokes are to die for!
Wicked Funny Addams Family Jokes You'll Love
The Addams Family doesn’t just walk the line between creepy and kooky – they jump over it while doing backflips! Here are some jokes so delightfully dark they’d make even Grandmama cackle with glee.
Why did Wednesday cross the road? To stab the chicken.
What’s Gomez’s idea of a romantic gift? A heart… in a box.
How does Morticia keep her skin so pale? She drains the color from happy people.
Why did Pugsley get an A in chemistry? He blew up the grading curve.
What’s Lurch’s favorite breakfast? Coffin cereal – it’s to die for.
Why did Fester get kicked out of the pet store? He kept electrocuting the puppies.
What’s Thing’s favorite band? *The Rolling Stones… literally.
Why did Cousin Itt get a job as a mop? It was a hair-raising opportunity.
What’s Wednesday’s favorite school supply? A blood-red pencil.
Why did Morticia plant a garden of poisonous plants? She wanted something toxic to match her personality.
What’s Gomez’s favorite exercise? Fencing – with real swords and real consequences.
Why did Pugsley bring a grenade to show-and-tell? It was an explosive presentation.
What’s Fester’s favorite song? “Shock the World” by AC/DC.
Why did Lurch start a cooking show? He wanted to stir up trouble.
What’s Thing’s favorite game? Operation – he always wins by keeping the bones.
Why did Wednesday refuse to smile in photos? She didn’t want to crack the camera.
What’s Morticia’s favorite wine? Grave-undy – aged in a coffin.
Why did Gomez install a trapdoor in the kitchen? For fast food.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite subject? Dismember-y.
Why did Fester get banned from the library? He kept checking out permanently.
What’s Lurch’s favorite dance? The Rigor Mortis – stiff but stylish.
Why did Cousin Itt get a haircut? He was shedding his dark past.
What’s Wednesday’s favorite ice cream? *Rocky Roadkill.
Why did Morticia knit with black yarn? She was making sweaters of sorrow.
What’s Gomez’s favorite board game? DEAD-opoly – all properties are cemeteries.
Why did Pugsley bring a chainsaw to school? For cutting remarks.
What’s Fester’s favorite drink? Battery acid – it gives him a charge.
Why did Lurch become a gardener? He had a green thumb… and pale everything else.
What’s Thing’s favorite movie? The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
Why did the Addams Family adopt a hyena? They needed someone to laugh at death with.
These jokes are so twisted they could give a pretzel nightmares!
Morbidly Hilarious Addams Family Puns You Can't Resist
Dark humor is like the Addams Family—not everyone gets it, but those who do really get it.
These puns are so sharp they could’ve come straight from Morticia’s wit.
Why did Wednesday refuse to play cards? She hated heart games.
What’s Gomez’s favorite workout? Deadlifts—he practices with real coffins.
How does Morticia take her coffee? Black… like her soul.
Why did Pugsley get expelled? He brought live grenades to biology class.
What’s Lurch’s favorite snack? Soul food—served cold.
Why did Fester get fired from the power plant? He kept short-circuiting the boss.
What’s Thing’s favorite sport? Finger football—he always loses his grip.
Why did Cousin Itt start a band? He had hair-monizing vocals.
What’s Wednesday’s favorite dessert? Bleeding heart cookies.
Why did Morticia plant nightshade? She wanted killer landscaping.
What’s Gomez’s favorite song? “Another One Bites the Dust”—it’s his ringtone.
Why did Pugsley bring a flamethrower to school? For heated debates.
What’s Fester’s favorite holiday? Voltoween—he amps up the scares.
Why did Lurch start a bakery? He kneaded dead dough.
What’s Thing’s favorite game? Twister—he always hands in his resignation.
Why did Wednesday’s diary have a lock? To keep out happiness.
What’s Morticia’s favorite perfume? Eau de Tomb.
Why did Gomez install a guillotine in the yard? For cutting-edge gardening.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite toy? A Jack-in-the-Box… with real knives.
Why did Fester get banned from the aquarium? He kept electrifying the eels.
What’s Lurch’s favorite dance move? The Stiff as a Board.
Why did Cousin Itt get a job as a scarecrow? He was naturally terrifying.
What’s Wednesday’s favorite fairy tale? *Sleeping Beauty… because it’s about a corpse.
Why did Morticia knit a noose? She needed a choking hazard.
What’s Gomez’s favorite car? A Hearse—it’s to die for.
Why did Pugsley bring a voodoo doll to recess? For poking fun.
What’s Fester’s favorite drink? Lightning in a bottle—shaken, not stirred.
Why did Lurch become a barber? He loved close shaves with death.
What’s Thing’s favorite movie? *The Silence of the Limbs.
Why did the Addams Family adopt a raven? They wanted a bird that never sings.
If you’re not laughing yet, you might be dead inside—welcome to the family!
Ghoulishly Great Addams Family Puns & Sayings.
The Addams Family doesn’t just tell jokes – they exhume them from the graveyard of comedy.
Here are some bone-chillingly good puns that would make even Wednesday crack a smile (though she’d never admit it).
- What’s Gomez’s favorite exercise? Coffin crunches – he likes to practice his deadlifts
- Why did Wednesday bring an Ouija board to school? For spelling tests
- What’s Morticia’s favorite flower? Bleeding hearts – they match her decor
- Why did Pugsley get an A in chemistry? He had explosive results
- What’s Lurch’s favorite song? “Stiff Little Fingers”
- How does Fester charge his phone? Shock therapy
- What’s Thing’s favorite game? Five-finger fillet – with real knives
- Why did Cousin Itt get a job as a mop? It was a hair-raising opportunity
- What’s Wednesday’s idea of fast food? Drive-thru funerals
- Why did Morticia plant a nightshade in the garden? She wanted something toxic to match her personality
- What’s Gomez’s favorite dance? The Crypt Walk
- Why did Pugsley bring a flamethrower to show-and-tell? For a heated presentation
- What’s Fester’s favorite candy? Shockers – they give him a charge
- Why did Lurch become a chef? He wanted to serve killer meals
- What’s Thing’s favorite sport? Extreme nail clipping
- Why did Wednesday refuse to smile for photos? She didn’t want to crack the camera
- What’s Morticia’s favorite wine? Grave-ity – it has a dark finish
- Why did Gomez install a trapdoor in the foyer? For sudden goodbyes
- What’s Pugsley’s favorite subject? Dismember-y
- Why did Fester get banned from the pet store? He kept electrocuting the puppies
- What’s Lurch’s favorite exercise? The Rigor Mortis stretch
- Why did Cousin Itt get a haircut? He was shedding his dark past
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite ice cream? Rocky Roadkill
- Why did Morticia knit with black yarn? She was making sweaters of sorrow
- What’s Gomez’s favorite board game? DEAD-opoly – all properties are cemeteries
- Why did Pugsley bring a grenade to school? For explosive learning
- What’s Fester’s favorite drink? Battery acid – it gives him energy
- Why did Lurch become a gardener? He had a green thumb… and pale everything else
- What’s Thing’s favorite movie? The Hand That Rocks the Cradle
- Why did the Addams Family adopt a hyena? They needed someone to laugh at death with
These jokes are so dark they make black holes look bright!
Wednesday-Approved Addams Family Jokes (Sarcasm Included)
If Wednesday Addams told jokes, they’d be there.
Dark, sharp, and guaranteed to make normies uncomfortable. Just the way she likes it.
- Why did Wednesday stab her science partner? She wanted to get to the heart of the dissection.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite school subject? Anatomy – she likes hands-on learning.
- Why did Wednesday bring a black balloon to the party? To celebrate someone’s impending doom.
- What’s Wednesday’s idea of a joke? Your life expectancy.
- Why did Wednesday refuse to play hide and seek? Because nobody ever looks for her.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite fairy tale? Snow White – she roots for the poisoned version.
- Why did Wednesday get kicked out of Girl Scouts? Her first aid involved the last rites.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite instrument? The voodoo doll – it makes people dance.
- Why did Wednesday bring a ouija board to study group? For spirited discussions.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Roadkill.
- Why did Wednesday get an A in chemistry? She tested her potions on classmates.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite game? Operation – she plays with real patients.
- Why did Wednesday bring a noose to gym class? She wanted to skip rope.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite holiday? April Fools – the day people die of embarrassment.
- Why did Wednesday get detention? She corrected the teacher’s anatomy lesson… with a scalpel.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite book? How to Lose Friends and Influence People.
- Why did Wednesday bring a voodoo doll to recess? For poking fun.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite movie? The Silence of the Lambs – she relates to Buffalo Bill.
- Why did Wednesday refuse to smile for pictures? She didn’t want to crack the camera.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite song? “Another One Bites the Dust”.
- Why did Wednesday get kicked out of the library? She was bookmarking pages with razor blades.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite board game? Clue – she always picks the lead pipe.
- Why did Wednesday bring a coffin to show-and-tell? It was her dream bed.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite science experiment? Bleach and ammonia – for sudden results.
- Why did Wednesday get an A in home ec? Her meatloaf was to die for.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite animal? Black widows – they understand her.
- Why did Wednesday bring a guillotine to math class? She wanted to cut to the answer.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite plant? Nightshade – it’s family.
- Why did Wednesday get sent to the principal? She was correcting the school’s mortality rate.
- What’s Wednesday’s favorite quote? “Die laughing.”
If you laughed at any of these, congratulations – you might be an Addams after all. If not… well, Wednesday wouldn’t like you anyway.
Pugsley-Perfect Addams Family Puns for Little Monsters
Kids love the Addams Family, too—especially Pugsley, the pint-sized troublemaker! These jokes are almost as explosive as his experiments but way safer (we think).
Why did Pugsley bring dynamite to school? For blast-off time!
What’s Pugsley’s favorite snack? Boom-sticks (a.k.a. licorice… probably).
Why did Pugsley fail his math test? He blew up the problems.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite game? Hide-and-go-BOOM*!
Why did Pugsley bring a slingshot to the zoo? To test the lions.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite subject? Recess—it’s chaos theory in action.
Why did Pugsley get a pet scorpion? He wanted a sting operation.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite drink? *Root beer… with real roots.
Why did Pugsley tie firecrackers to his shoes? For fast fashion.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite movie? The Exploding Dead.
Why did Pugsley bring a magnifying glass to the park? For bug-hunting season.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite sport? Dodgeball—with live grenades.
Why did Pugsley get in trouble at lunch? He spiked the milk.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite candy? Pop rocks… and pop goes the weasel.
Why did Pugsley bring a chemistry set to the playground? For social experiments.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite ride? The tilt-a-whirl… because it makes people hurl.
Why did Pugsley get a pet tarantula? He needed a hairy situation.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite joke? Knock-knock… BOOM.
Why did Pugsley bring a whoopee cushion to church? For holy laughter.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite toy? A jack-in-the-box… with real knives.
Why did Pugsley bring a fake eyeball to school? For see-rious pranks.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite holiday? April Fools—the only day he behaves.
Why did Pugsley get detention? He tested his volcano science project indoors.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite book? *Where the Wild Things *Bite**.
Why did Pugsley bring a whoopie cushion to a funeral? For dead silence.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite game show? Double Dare… because triple dares are better.
Why did Pugsley get kicked out of the pool? He was testing depth charges.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite instrument? The kazoo—it sounds like dying bees.
Why did Pugsley bring a fake snake to bed? For hiss-terical reactions.
What’s Pugsley’s favorite saying? “Oops.”
If your little monster giggled at these, they might be an Addams. Hide the matches.
Final Thoughts
Whether you’re a mini-monster like Pugsley or more of a Wednesday-style cynic, these Addams Family jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone—even if it’s buried six feet under.
From Gomez’s swordplay puns to Thing’s handy one-liners, there’s something here to make every misfit cackle.
Now share this gloom… one terrible joke at a time.
After all, as the Addams Family knows best—life’s more fun when it’s a little rotten.